There I was, casually skimming through the world news in the highly reputable (snigger, snigger) Daily Mail when I came across this toe curling article. A musician woman, by the name of Sia (you may have heard of her) has reached number 1 in the music charts with her hit ‘Cheap Thrills’. Yes, yes, so what? The point of this article dear reader was the flabbergasting fact that Sia is 40. MIDDLE AGED. What right does she have to be in the charts? And what’s more, no other old person has done so since Madonna at the age of 43 had a number 1 hit with ‘Music’, approximately 16 years ago.
Funnily enough, the song was written for, and rejected by, someone who is pretty famous and young – Rhianna. Too bad Rhi Rhi! Sia smashed it. Someone older and wiser, more experienced and talented aced it! Wait, do people still say that – aced it?
WTF though right? Now I am not just saying this because I am 40 but I truly believe we women shine in our 40’s. At 40 we are still young-ish but we have the beauty of having things SORTED. Sure there are a few loose ends to keep you fresh but the big stuff like your identity, values, friends and family – SORTED. And career? You are finally onto a pretty good wicket. There has been a lot of developing and upskilling, and young people look to you now for guidance on the big job stuff. So I put it to the universe, why shouldn’t a woman in her 40’s have a number 1 hit? Isn’t she best equipped to have a hit at 40? And let’s not forget this fabulous 40 year old (Sia, not me, although I am fabulous too) is the unique talent that has created an art form around ‘anti-famous’. Instead of getting her tits out or smoking weed off a wrecking ball she is making a statement about society and being an incredible talent and class act in the process.
Gwynnie Paltrow (LOVE HER) says women get a massive software upgrade around 40. Totally. You feel confident, true and brave – states of being that don’t really characterise a woman’s life in her 20’s and 30’s. We become all accepting and loving about who we are, faults and flaws included, and we are really true to ourselves – within some basic boundaries generally, not like all crazy and shit. We still have to make book parade costumes and pack school lunches. We truly live by the notion of being real. Real about friendships, relationships, and life. And with all that honesty, life experience and confidence, surely that is when we are at our best?
I was just in my local department store stocking up on the good stuff (CC makeup – thank God for that little tube of magic) and I flicked my once lustrous locks around the cosmetic department. My eyes were drawn to two gorgeous women on the counter advertising. I started gushing to the too-young-for-my-liking sales assistant about how nice it was to see more mature women (aka Penelope Cruz and Kate Winslet) being the face of such high profile premium cosmetic houses. She said ‘Makeup is there to make you look better when you are old.’ I glared at her for a few more seconds than is considered polite and then I agreed. Everyone is hot when they are young. We just don’t know it. Well, we didn’t in my day. Young women seem to be more confident these days with the dawn of the selfie culture.
I have heard people bang on about what they wish they could say to their younger self -blah blah. I would say listen up younger self, you are hot. And really smart. And pretty funny. And you were right about trigonometry. You won’t use it ever again when you leave school. I would say – love that pustule on your face. You don’t get zits when you have older lady dry skin. Your oil glands just don’t pump shit out like they used to give you that youthful glow that we older lady skins would give our away expensive shoes to have again. It’s all good, though. Wait – I may have pinched that line from my old mate Gwynnie.
I just left the shopping mall, and a particularly poignant sales slogan caught my eye above the butcher counter where some old meat was hanging – ‘dry aged gracefully’. Meat at its matured finest. Cheers to that.